Honoring a Life of Devotion and Joy: Carmela Cerri’s Story

My Mom, Carmela (Candy) Cerri, was a tireless and devoted mother, wife, homemaker, teacher, and community leader. She could always make friends easily and see the best qualities in everyone. Her preschool students often stayed in touch for decades. Candy was admired in her roles as both the historical society and women’s club presidents. She joyfully sang and played the piano by ear and kept beautiful flower gardens. She loved to cook, especially homemade pastas, and host festive gatherings.

Candy was married to the love of her life, Ted, for 74 years. Shortly after their wedding, Ted, an officer in the army, was deployed to the front lines of the Korean War. Mom wrote letters to him every day and anxiously waited for replies to be possible. Perhaps that is how they learned to appreciate and support each other for decades to come. Together, they hands-on built their home, and created a loving family, which has expanded to include 6 grandchildren, and 5 great grandchildren, all completely devoted to their awesome Grammy.

We noticed Candy’s mild cognitive impairment about 10 years ago. Her symptoms of forgetfulness, loss of basic math skills, and sporadic confusion gradually increased. At some point she lost the skill to operate the television, microwave and laundry. Her handwriting became unrecognizable, and she was unable to learn anything new. She would vacillate throughout the day between a state of confusion and one of clarity. Then about 3 years ago, when suddenly she had difficulty speaking, a visit to the ER revealed dementia taking hold, and not a stroke. So, her heartfelt greeting cards and phone calls stopped coming. But when she couldn’t remember how to layer her lasagna, and when she insisted her husband was in fact her father; we all knew she had crossed a threshold.

Both Ted and Candy were in their 90’s and steadfastly living on their own; when it became apparent that Mom would need help with much of her daily living. For a while, Dad took over cooking and house cleaning. Mom kept up lighter chores, folding laundry and emptying the dishwasher. Dad could never leave Mom home alone, so he saved his errands and grocery shopping for the one morning a week when a caregiver visited. All along, Mom was very aware of her failing abilities. We had learned from the neurologists, that Mom’s cognitive decline would steadily increase, and be most evident each time regressions forced lifestyle changes. So, when her balance and coordination started to falter, we were on high alert. Yet that did not prevent her from falling last year, as she was getting out of bed at home, resulting in a fractured neck.

After 8 challenging days in the hospital, in early 2024, she was discharged to Sunrise Senior Living, requiring two-person, skilled caregiving, 24/7. Mom and our family were blessed the day Angela, our supplemental lead-caregiver, arrived. Angela devoted herself to Mom completely, with respect and love. It was often said that the “Angela and Candy team” were appropriately named, for their angelic sweetness. It was overwhelming for our family to witness Mom’s physical and emotional pain. But Angela radiated joy and gave us confidence and hope that Mom would be comfortable, safe, and encouraged to regain mobility. Over a span of a few months, Mom indeed improved from needing lift equipment to be moved from bed, to walking on her own. As the physical therapists, Angela, and Mom paraded down the corridors, taking a few more steps each day, fellow residents would clap and cheer her on.

Candy’s sense of humor was legendary, a little self-deprecating, and always kind. Fortunately, this was not completely lost as her dementia developed. The laughter she triggered was able to offset the not-so-kind outbursts that progress with this disease. Candy also kept up her teacher and caregiver roles, asking those in the dining hall to “raise their hands if they wanted coffee”, and holding hands with residents she sensed needed connection. She delighted in musical entertainment, which we arranged with a music therapist. We all crammed into Mom’s room and sang and danced together. Mom would clap her hands in approval. Dad visited with Mom in memory care every day, held her hand, and sang her favorite songs. On his way out to retire to his own suite, Mom would call out “Behave!” with a chuckle.

In Candy’s last few months, Good Shepherd hospice supported Angela with skilled and compassionate care, for which we are grateful. And we have always been grateful for the support of our medical team at Weston Primary Care, who had wisely advised us to seek guidance from professional elder care manager, Tracey Driscoll, of Transitions with Care. We came to rely very quickly on their services of liaison and RN visits. Also, in consultation with Tracey, we found Platinum Care (the providers of Angela and her team), and Sunrise of Wayland, (who’s memory care staff always graciously supported us all). We realize how fortunate we were to have this ideal support team and wish all those burdened with any type of dementia could, and should, have the same opportunity of appropriate care.

Candy was a wonderful human being full of courage and conviction. We are all the better for having known and loved her. We hope that in her memory, more strides will be made to overcome the truly horrible effects of Alzheimer’s disease.